Valentines Day

Everyone knows Valentines day is a day for lovers. Some think of it as "Singles Awareness Day". Thankfully, it isn't singles awareness day for me anymore! I can't count the valentines days I've spent alone and single; yes there are that many. I can however count the last two I've spent alone V-day of 2010 Bryce was in Afghanistan and V-day of 2009 he was just getting used to being stationed at Camp Pendleton, but he sent me a beautiful diamond heart necklace that I stupidly left in a former friends vehicle and when I went to get it back from her, it was in "storage" Yea right. In someone elses jewelry case maybe. I have no doubt in my mind she sold it for drugs, but that's a whole 'nother can of worms.

This year however, I had my beautiful babygirl and hubs! He left for work as usual and I went about my day as usual. I started getting ready for our dinner around 430 and just waited for him to get him. He came home around 6 ish with pink roses and balloons :].. I had originally planned to take Brailey to my friend Kyleann's house, but since it was so late and Brailey was still sleeping, Bryce told me just to leave her here that she would be fine with Lamotte. He's been good with her ever since we've let him stay here and even before then so I figured sure why not we won't be gone that long. So off we set, going to the steakhouse I really wanted to go to.

We get halfway there (it's only 5 min from home) and my tummy starts rumbling... I thought oh god here we go please not on valentines day! ( I have irritable bowl syndrome) After driving around for ten minutes trying to find a place to park and no success we drive down the street, no parking. So we decided to try to park one last time. By then I was tired, grumpy, hurting and hungry. SUCCESS, people were ACTUALLY leaving!! We walk in the restaurant hoping to find a table, but alas, it's a reservations only place. Great. The attending hostess tells us we can go downstairs to the bar and see if there is an open table down there. There wasn't.  So she tells us they won't have any openings until 9. It's only 620ish. Unhappily I tell my husband I want to leave I'm not waiting 2 1/2 hours.

So we decide to try downtown Carlsbad. We didn't see anything either of us wanted to go to. After all it was valentines day and I wanted steak. He offers a Crab shack I say no. He points out italian I say NO again. Then he points out mexican. Let's not even go there. By now I was in such horrible pain it felt like I was having another baby. Literally. This isn't fun stuff. So by then I was so fed up and ready to go home. We start to head towards home and he offers taco bell. I had to bite my tongue. He says we can go to outback; I say no, he hates that place. He says it's fine he'll just order something different. So off we go to outback.

The place was completely packed, it was rediculous. Out of the 5trillion restaurants here all of them seemed to be overflowing. I was upset and snapping at him, I shouldn't have, he was trying. In one last effort I point out a restaurant that had caught my eye a few times seeing as I always see it driving home. Q restaurant sports bar & grill. I got out of the car bracing myself for a fight over a table. We walked in and it was so laid back, the waiters were even chillin at tables and waddya know, there are empty tables! I guess people didn't expect a Sports bar to suit there V-day needs, but let me tell you that is the best steak I've ever had and it wasn't little like most expensive steaks. I'd happily go back and drop 20 more dollars on a steak.

Belly full and happy hearts, we head home! By this time my belly starts turning again.. Oh boy. I was so excited to get home and see my baby she'd been on my mind all night. I get out of the car and I hear my baby crying. Apparently he couldn't handle her whining and put her in her crib to cry it out. Mind you, I let her cry it out sometimes too, but that only happens when she's ready for a nap, not after she just got up from one! I was one unhappy momma. Needless to say I'll suck it up and wake her butt up to take her to Kyle's house next time. All in all, it was a pretty good Valentines day!

See You Later.

It's never goodbye. It's "I'll see you later." I'll never forget that day, or the pain that comes with it. November 7th, 2009 is forever burned into the back of my mind. It will always be there and I'll always feel that tinge of pain everytime I think about it.

Kayla and I had driven 2500 miles on a whim to see our husbands off. Originally neither one of us had the money and neither one of us even knew our husbands were in the same unit. We went to highschool together;  Kayla, Sam and I, but none of us were ever close so how would we have known? It was November 3rd 2009. I knew Sam was in the marines and I knew he was in Cali because I had seen him at family day back in June of 2009, but I hadn't seen him since then. Kayla and I sometimes talked on MSN and just happened to be talking that night. We talked about deployment and I had curiously asked her Sam's address to see if he would be anywhere near bryce. I about shit my pants. The addresses were identical. They were going to the same place.

It was 3am on November 4th now. We had devised a plan to get us to California. We only had 3 days to drive 2500 miles, spend time with our boys and have our hearts ripped out of our chests, we were pressed for time. I had zero money, Kayla didn't have any either, only her money in savings.. The things we'll do for love. So with the promise that I'd pay her back for my half of the trip, some bread and peanut butter, we set out.

I called my parents to tell them I was going to California and they were scared to death. After all it was just Kayla and I, but I told them I didn't care. I was married and I was going. Oh the joys of being 16 and married!

It was a long hard trip and I'll never forget it. We took turns driving and sleeping, I was 3 months pregnant and my stomach was turning so bad I couldn't even eat. At that point Kayla was begging me to eat, but I just couldn't. It didn't help that I couldn't get ahold of bryce until we got to Texas because I had resorted to calling his shop and telling them I was driving from Tennessee to see him off and he didn't even know I was coming yet.

About an hour later I get a super hateful phonecall from him. His tone immediately changed when I told him I was in Texas coming to see him, the questions then turned to "When are you going to be here?!" "How much longer?!" Excited much? With a few I don't know's and I'll call you when I get closer's and an I love you we were off the phone and I felt much better. That stabbing pain was still there, I still couldn't eat but I was relieved and that was enough for me.

At some point in West Texas the speed limit goes up to 80mph on the interstate. By now it's about 9 pm on the 4th of November and we see blue lights. The officer tells Kayla she's doing 85 in a 70. Apparently the speed limit drops to 70 at night. Why, I'm not really sure because it's flat all the way across and you can see for miles. Kayla explains the situation to the cops, that we're trying to get to California to see our husband's off and neither one of us honestly saw a sign about the speed limit.

The officer tells Kayla he'll just give her a written warning and says to hang tight for just a minute so we're finally breathing again because Kayla is absolutely terrified of getting pulled over, it's quite funny really! The cop comes back and hands Kayla a piece of paper. It is not a written warning. It's a 300 ticket. He tells her to keep the points from going on her license to go to driving school. When she tells him she's from Tennessee (which he obviously knew in the first place) and can't attend driving school in Texas he tells her oh well just to pay the ticket. With that little incident we were both heated.

A few hours after the texas incident I'm driving. There are cones in the middle of the interstate and they start guiding me into one lane. I look and see a sign that says "weigh station" so I immediately start thinking I've messed up from being so tired and made a wrong turn. I slowly drive through the parking lot and around the semi's to get back on the interstate. I get a half a mile down the road and I see blue lights. I start waking kayla up with "Oh shit kayla we're getting pulled over again!" She wakes up freaking out asking if I was speed and I tell her no, I have no idea why we're getting pulled over again.

I look up and we are surrounded by cops and they have a spot light on us. Do I have a dead body in the trunk and not even know about it? A cop walks up and knocks on Kayla's window, so she rolls it down. Keep in mind we haven't showered in two days and are in our pajamas. He says "border patrol, why didn't you stop" Well HOLY COW. I explain that I didn't know it was border patrol. He then says "You didn't see the big red flashing lights and border patrol sign? I tell him that I actually didn't and thought it was a weigh station because of the sign I had seen and the semi's that were in the parking lot. He asked who's car it was and when Kayla, who's sitting in the passenger seat, says it's hers he looks at us and is like well why is she driving and so we have to explain once again what we're doing. We both tell him we really have no idea what we're doing because we've never attempted to go that far from home before. He asks us where we're from (which he obviously knew because of the car tags and my license) we both chimed in "Tennessee" he then laughs at us and tells us to be careful and to have a good night.

Back on the road again. Nothing else remotely exciting happened until about 10 am on the 5th when we hit California's border patrol. There was a border patrol agent to our left with his german shepherd and a car being torn apart by agents on our right. Kayla spots the dog, a DOG, a GROWN DRUG DOG and says "aww what a cute puppy" I told her she probably shouldn't say that to a badass drug dog.... Did she listen? NO. As soon as we get to the agent she rolls down her window and repeats herself. Good thing that guy had a hold of his dog or Kayla woulda been toast! Lesson learned.

By 1pm we thought we were so close to being with the guys that we told them we'd be there in about an hour. FAIL. By this time, I still hadn't eaten. It had been about 48 hours since I had last eaten and still didn't have the stomach for it.  Around 4 we rolled into oceanside. The guys were so excited to see us they had dropped bryces truck off at the shop and started walking to our apartment, but we got to them before they found us :D. It was such a relief to see his face and I know Kayla felt the same about seeing Sam.

A weight had been lifted off of my shoulders, but I knew deployment was just around the corner. We had two days left with our boys, every second counted. Bryce made me promise that when I saw our apartment I wouldn't get mad at him.... I walked in and was ready to kill him. There were food wrappers laying everywhere. I'll never forget the feeling I felt in the pit of my stomach realizing he had been just as hungry as I had been. We were broke. I knew it wasn't my fault but I was still overwhelmed with guilt.

November 6 th came, we didn't do anything but hang out with each other and just enjoy our time. Sam and Kayla were off doing their own thing. That night we all went to a Hibachi Grill and Sam paid, I was ready to kill bryce. I don't know if it was just stress or if he was really pissing me off that bad, but I was mad. He was acting like such a little kid and wouldn't knock it off. He ended up getting mad at me so we were mad at each other and it was just bad. Looking back now it had to have been the stress of deployment weighing heavily on us. It's a scary thing and very real.

November 7th 2009 Came too fast. We had to be at batallion by 11. I was fine, scared, but fine. We wasted all day there, but I'm thanful for the time I had with him. We just sat there.. sat some more.. the guys left to go get their guns and when they came back, we just sat around more. It was about 10 and i started getting really nervous. I could feel the tears coming and they burned. I didn't wanna cry because he begged me not to. We went and sat in his truck so he could call everyone and tell them bye. He didn't even seem bothered by the fact that he was leaving me and our unborn baby and I was upset by that too. That was until he talked to my mom. He said "Take care of my baby, take care of both my babies" I'll never forget that. After he said that he burst into tears and laid his head in my lap and we cried together. We pulled it together and walked out to talk to our friends. We were standing in the grass and he lifts up my shirt to kiss my stomach...

I'll never foget sitting on those metal benches either. It was there that I saw the first white bus turn the corner and then more followed. My heart sank to the bottom of my feet and I was overwhelmed by fear. At that moment I knew it was all over. He was leaving. I couldn't make him stay no matter how bad I wanted him home or how bad he wanted to be home, he had to go. Duty called. I burst into tears and he begged me to stop but truth is, I just couldn't. Even if I wanted too for him, it was too late. He held me and I soaked his cammies. He kept promising me he'd be okay, but my heart was heavy and I was already missing him.

They were then called in for formation. I had never seen him at work before, I was so proud. It's an overwhelming amount of emotion to feel at one time. Then came the final see you later. We kissed and hugged. I didn't wanna let go and neither did he which made me cry even more. He had to go and I had to let go. It hurt so bad to watch him walk away. My heart was slowing being ripped out of my chest right in front of me and I couldn't do anything to stop it.

Right before he was supposed to get on the bus he turned around and ran back to me to give me one last kiss. Then he really had to go. I found Kayla somewhere in the crowd and we stood there together and just cried. We watched every single bus drive by. I wasn't sure which one bryce had gotten on so I wasn't about to leave until I was done staring down the last one.

Staying at the apartment that night was rough, Kayla and I cried together and I'm so thankful I had her. Everything reminded me of him and I just wanted to go home. I wanted to be out of California, away from the Marine Corps who took my husband away from me to send him to the shit hole called afghanistan.

The next day we cleaned out my apartment, turned in the keys and headed home. Saying see you later was only the beginning after all we had 7 more months of hell in front of us.

Stupidity must run rampant.

Yesterday, while sitting in our back yard with the dog, I see this little silver ford ranger stop at the red light, out of the window pops this girls head and she just starts yelling at me. I couldn't hear everything, but what I did catch was "fatass!" Wow, you're cool. They go when the light turns green and then come back up the OTHER side of the highway to yell at me again, all I caught from this trip was "Bitch!" Even cooler! Then came the last uturn to come back and yell at me some more. All I caught from this trip was "I fucked your husband Bryce Landry" Well gee wiz, me too.

Now let me go back to the very beginning. Back in the summer I spent most of my time home, I kept getting restricted phone calls and voicemails obviously from the same girls harrassing me over my husband. Then they finally got the balls to call me after they accidentally unblocked their number and  I called them back. According to the girls story, she had been seeing my husband since June, It was only august yatta yatta and she had pictures to "prove" it. The only pictures she had of him were from a distance and he was walking in another direction. You totally showed me!

Come to find out, He had let two guys he works with move in while I was gone and one of them had been bringing this girl and another one over. Farishta fancied Bryce and the other one had her eye on the other married guy living here. They were both turned down and the girls got pissed off and resorted to calling and harrassing me. Yesterday was the first time I heard a peep outta these girls since the summer. It's pretty stupid to go to someone elses house that you don't even know to try and pick a fight over their SPOUSE.

 Now, I don't know if my husband actually had anything to do with her or not,  but according to him and the other married guy living here, the girl is just crazy. I hope for her sake that she doesn't feel froggy enough to set a foot anywhere near my apartment or me.

Furious doesn't even begin to cover it.

I just found out through my mom that my dad sold my horse. I'm so upset. My mom wasn't even going to tell me, but I'm glad she did because if I had went home and wanted to ride my horse and someone told me she was gone, it would have been a blood bath. I'm sure my dad did it out of spite since my parents are getting divorced and after promising me he wouldn't show up to the family christmas dinner with his new girlfriend because I told him it wasn't right as they are not divorced yet, he showed up with her anyways and I said some pretty nasty things.

Truthful, but nasty non the less and you better believe I didn't hold back, I'm glad his girlfriend heard everything I said. I wanted her to. I haven't spoken to him since. So today my mom decides to come out and tell me that my 'dad' had told her to tell me he sold Dixie. Apparently he didn't have the guts to tell me himself. If I were him and had to face me after I put him in his place at Christmas, I probably wouldn't wanna face me either. Either way, I'm very pissed.

My horse was a christmas present about 4 years ago. I had ridden and been around horses all my life, but it took until I was 14 to actually have my own.  I'm sure he'll say "well you never rode her." That's not entirely true. I rode her when I had time and I didn't always have time. That, and I live across the country. I wanted to ride her when I went home for christmas but that's kinda hard with two feet of snow and ice, I didn't want to get her out and risk her breaking a leg. Now, she's gone. Way to go #1 Dad.

Goodbye my best friend.

Excitement!

Just got the call!!! We are FINALLY going to get a car tomorrow after our last one caught on fire and was totaled in November. It's such a relief and a blessing I just can't even begin to put into words how wonderful it is! Today's been a little crazy and that phone call made it all worth while! The lady who helped us, also helped our friends on base and their parents, so we knew we definately wanted her help and she promised us from day one she could get us a car. This lady has connections. I have no clue how, nor do I really care because either way, we need a car and we need it asap. It's been horrible without a car, not being able to leave the house unless I wanna walk a mile in the blistering sun to get where I need to go, which that wasn't even the problem, the problem was, the only place I really needed to go was the grocery store and well, Brailey's stroller just wasn't big enough for what we need, not to mention I would have to push it all up the hill to our apartment and that just wasn't happening. So I'm beyond ecstatic to have gotten that phone call. On another note, we put Brailey down for the night and about thirty minutes later she woke up crying, I was checking the mail and came back in to Bryce putting her back down. That was fine by me, mommy is TIRED, I have no clue how people do it with multiple kids, but I guess I have multiple kids you could say because on top of Brailey, I have an absolutely devil named Diesel that my husband just COULDN'T live without and then there's little Chanel my awesome german shepherd pup and Sadie who is an absolute sweetheart, they're all my kids I guess... Anywho ( I have a tendency to sidetrack :) Bryce goes in to put her back down, I'm waiting for him... and waiting.. still waiting... waiting some more... yep still waiting.. Until finally I have a feeling... I was right, I went in and found both them passed out in her crib. Whatta day :]

Animals, Animals and more Animals.

This may be silly to some people, or maybe even alot of people, but to me it's pretty great! Last night I FINALLY got the puppy I've pestered my parents for since I was a little girl, a German Shephard.

It's taken years of begging and two years of marriage, but I got her! Lucky enough, it seems my husband really does love me! He promised that as soon as we had any extra money to spare, I could have any puppy I wanted and you better believe held onto that promise :].

So now we have a Husky, a German Shepherd and a little white fluff ball named Sadie (which I'm trying to sell). I have an issue with animals, I've had this problem since I was a little girl. In fact, my dad even nicknamed me Ellie Mae because no matter where we were, wherever I went, I seemed to have a train of animals following me and I never could pass up the opportunity to drag another dog, bird, iguana, rabbit, ferret, fish, or cat home and yes, I've had ATLEAST one of every animal that I just named. My parents would always say "No more animals" and yet again, I would always manage to bring in 'just one more'.

My mom was mainly the only obstacle I had to cross when dragging in another animal because my dad never could tell me 'no' and mean it. It must be a thing and I dread when Brailey gets older and realizes she has her daddy wrapped... So I figured out a solution, I would make sure to sneak in the animal without my mom knowing and then just sit in her lap when she least expected it. My tactical maneuvering ALWAYS worked, I can't think of a time when my mom actually told me no and stuck to it about an animal.

I remember counting one time, we had 23 animals, but who cares, I'm from the south and lived in open country around family in the mountains so we were able to do it so I pity bryce if brailey picks up my habits because I won't be able to tell her no and he can't tell me no... It's a vicious cycle :]

He was in the process of pushing her off the couch.. He's a turd.

What else could possibly go... hold that thought.

Today has been interesting. First thing this morning, I put our Husky pup out on the chain like I always do so he can potty without running away and I can fix Brailey some breakfast and get her down for her first nap. As I'm checking in on her in her room I hear someone screaming. At first I thought it was the TV, but then I heard an angry snarl. Immediately I ran to our backyard and whaddya know, one of our neighbors has her pitbull by the collar yanking her away from Diesel. As soon as I open the glass Diesel bolts in the house and I'm looking at the lady with the stupidest look you can give someone and she just laughs and says "She ran back here from the dog park"

At that moment, I felt myself shoot her an even dumber look because the dog is dragging her leash, so obviously she was letting her run loose WITH her leash on. Don't get me wrong I love pitbulls, but that dog has been known to cause problems with other dogs and I just wanted to punch her in the face for laughing like it was no big deal.

What if Brailey had been in the backyard playing with Diesel? If I catch that dog in my backyard one more time I will call animal control! Then, Bryce called me from work to tell me to go onto his mypay and read off the amounts to him because as most of us pendleton wives know, BAH just went up to 1800 a month effective January 1, 2011. As I'm reading them off, only ONE of the last 3 pay days has even come close to amounting to 1800 dollars. So I calculate, we've been jipped close to 600! Bryce is trying to get it fixed, I have no idea how I even let it slip past me, I'm usually very ornery about the money and what it goes to because I can't stand being broke.

On top of all this and Brailey's constant whining, my only sanity was the fact that our taxes were supposed to be here tomorrow. Low and behold I go to track our taxes and they've been pushed back two more weeks!!!! I'm so ready to pull my hair out it's not even funny. It's not even 1pm here yet and I'm ready for a stiff drink.